December 27, 2020

“Pirate Ayanna and the Seagulls,” by KJ Hannah Greenberg

“Pirate Ayanna and the Seagulls,” by KJ Hannah Greenberg

Ayanna, who was already an old salt, licked her right paw. The Curse of the Abandoned Scallywags had visited her. She next licked her left paw and then looked across the boat to the crow’s nest on the mainmast. If only she had believed Cook, she might not be limping.  He had warned the crew, after they had dragged him out of the sea, about the curse. More exactly, he had scolded them, while he shook water out of his fur, heedless of who was standing nearby, that blaspheming another soul would bring retribution in the form of conveyance. More explicitly, as he had sucked down the first mug of rum given to him, Cook had declared that whoever spoke words of affliction, upon the furry head of another, would cause their merits to relocate to that other feline and would cause that other feline’s woes to transfer to them.  At the time, the assembled cats had laughed and had patted Cook on the back, all the while suggesting that his brain was as waterlogged as was his coat. After refilling his mug and throwing a blanket to him, they had returned to their duties. None had paid full attention to his jabbering. …

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December 25, 2020

Deck the Halls (with Matrimony!) by Sassquach Radio

Deck the Halls (with Matrimony!) by Sassquach Radio

Happy Holidays everyone! To help make your day a little more cheery, here is “Deck the Halls (with Matrimony)” by Sassquach Radio! When love is your business, you have no business falling in love. Two best pals, Emma and Jackie, are just trying to get through the holiday wedding season when a mysterious handsome stranger enters the picture . . . but when they discover his name on the invitations of their big Christmas wedding, that budding romance becomes their biggest disaster. Join the gang at Regal Bride as they battle birds and brides in this zany holiday romantic comedy!  Starring Paula Deming and Keiko Agena as Emma and Jackie, the best friends in the wedding business. With Kyle Payne as Stu, Ian McQuown as Trip, and Jessica Payne as Katie. Featuring Kacie Rogers and Jesse Abbott Chin…

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December 23, 2020

December Edition of “The Break from HOKAIC”

December Edition of “The Break from HOKAIC”

Greetings all! As many of you know, I run a weekly newsletter of useful, fun, or amusing pieces of writing industry news called The Break From HOKAIC (Hands on Keyboard, Ass in Chair). As writers and lovers of writing yourselves, Fictional Cafe thought you’d enjoy some highlights for your information and entertainment: Finding a writing routine that works A video of writing advice from successful authors Writing Advice From Cats The shifting shape of writing and publishing Ultimate Guide to Book Distribution Nature slaps scientists in the face If you’d like more, delivered each week, consider subscribing to the newsletter itself. It comes every Monday. Thanks for reading. See you next month!

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December 20, 2020

Umi and Mori Haikus by Julie Brinson

Umi and Mori Haikus by Julie Brinson

Six Umi and one Mori Haiku    following bright sun  alone, he surfs a strong wave  with a young dolphin    seen in clear water  bright life on a coral reef  illumination                                     a tiny seahorse  sleeps in tropical sea grass  and moonlight falls down    drifting on currents  wishes lost in old bottles  many horizons    in cold waters deep  sad songs of the lonely whales  mourning lost ones loved    sea salted sands  shift into the greens and blues  then the yellow sun      bright sun warms noon day  overripe apples hang low  –sticky, drunken bees    *** Julie Brinson has previously published random poetry in numerous independent, underground literary magazines and journals in the 1990s. She has written various Internet articles and essays in the years since.   Two short poetry collections: Courage…

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December 17, 2020

“Squid Eyes,” A Short Story by Lisa Sita

“Squid Eyes,” A Short Story by Lisa Sita

Every time Amanda cried black ink, people thought it was her mascara running. Sometimes a concerned fellow female, in trying to be helpful, would recommend that she try a waterproof variety, since there were so many on the market and were actually quite effective at preventing embarrassing smudges. She always tried to explain after politely thanking these women that she was not wearing any makeup, but they never seemed to believe her.  Amanda’s parents first noticed the color of their daughter’s tears when she came slipping and sliding out of the womb at Lenox Hill Hospital one early winter morning. As soon as the cord was cut, little Amanda’s eyes spouted like tiny oil wells that ran and dribbled into the creases of her new baby flesh. The doctor who delivered her and others who were consulted could find no reason for it. Thinking first that the black tears…

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December 14, 2020

Martha Engber – Two Poems of Vulnerability

Martha Engber – Two Poems of Vulnerability

The House      Once there was a house.  Once there was a choice.    The house was made of inside,  while the choice lived outside.    Before that, there were many other choices,  all outside, too, but  that could be gotten to    because the house had a  door that opened, allowing a going out  and a coming in, and had, and did.    But then came this choice, of surprise  and delight and innocence,  more than any other.    A choice made wholly of outside,  it could not come in, but rather must be  gone to and embraced.    Surprise. Delight. Innocence.  Yet a choice to which the responsible  door should not open.    The house suddenly so bounded, so  permanent, so…  shut.    The windows, with their crosshatched bars,  gazed out at…

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December 11, 2020

“The Case of Murder in the Fiesta Lounge” Audio Arts

“The Case of Murder in the Fiesta Lounge” Audio Arts

From the mixed up files of Jack Justice and Trixie Dixon comes The Case of the Murder of Fiesta Lounge. One more episode where a certain detective duo gets to get drunk, waves around several handguns of various sizes, and tries not to shoot each other. For those who haven’t heard a yarn spun by Gregg Taylor, you are in for a treat. When Trixie Dixon and Jack Justice are hired to guard a certain Michael Patrick Mulligan O’Day during his mayoral campaign, their main objective is keep him from getting shot. Which is proves to be very difficult since the one thing the girl detective wants to do is shoot him herself. Things take a turn for the worse when the lights go out and their client ends up dead. Now the only thing…

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December 6, 2020

“Brevity,” A Flash Nonfiction Anthology Book Review

“Brevity,” A Flash Nonfiction Anthology Book Review

When Rose Metal Press asked if I would consider writing a review of a forthcoming book entitled The Best of Brevity, I thought, Why not? I favor brevity. After all, that famous line, “Forgive me for writing you such a long letter, for I didn’t have the time to write a short one,” is one of my favorite [mis]quotations, even if we’re not exactly sure who first wrote it. Was it Montaigne? Cicero? Machiavelli? Pascal? Wilde? Twain? Mencken? Does it matter? So the book arrived and I noted the cover read, “Twenty groundbreaking years of flash nonfiction.” I was intrigued; having written flash fiction for years and years, I was embarrassed to admit I knew little about this genre. But flash nonfiction? Now I wondered, Hmmm, this might be boring. Then I began flipping pages,…

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December 3, 2020

Rhode Island Author Expo – FREE Virtual Conference

Rhode Island Author Expo – FREE Virtual Conference

This Saturday, December 5th, The Association of Rhode Island Authors (ARIA) is holding their annual Author Expo virtually. Anyone can join: no Rhode Island ID needed! Each year, ARIA does an outstanding job bringing local writers, speakers and resources for writers (like us) together for a day of networking, teaching about the craft of writing and selling books from independent and small press authors. Even if you do not plan to attend, we encourage you to check out the local authors participating in the event, where you can find their books for sale. Please help support these hardworking writers! Jack and I have been attending this conference for many years now. We were introduced to it by FC member and contributor Mike Squatrito. At the conference last year, we met Michael Piekny, one of our…

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December 1, 2020

Hume Baugh — Paintings of Life and Love

Hume Baugh — Paintings of Life and Love

Artist’s Statement:I started painting in 2017. I had been given a set of oil paints but hadn’t used them until I was at my sister’s cottage that summer and I painted three pictures. I immediately connected with the experience. I took art in high school but hadn’t touched a paintbrush since.  I paint mostly to please myself, to set myself challenges. I don’t think I have a lot of finesse but I think I have the ability to capture energy, things happening, and I love colour, lots of it. I like to see what happens with the paint on the canvas, where the painting wants to go as opposed to what I’m trying to insist on. Painting has been a very happy discovery for me.  *** Hume Baugh has published work in Queen’s Quarterly, The New Quarterly, and won This Magazine’s…

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