Welcome back Fictional Cafe Listeners, up next we have “Oz 9” by Shannon Perry.
On an otherwise unexceptional Tuesday in 2042, Gated Galaxies fired off 400 of its Oz 8000™ ships, each with 50,000 “resting guests” tucked into stasis pods, plus a skeleton crew of up to half-a-dozen total no-hopers.
It was a win-win for G2, as they’re known, as the Oz 8000 model was about to be declared “unfit for journeying to the nearest 7-Eleven, much less interstellar space” and recalled. G2 had a very large fleet of the 8000s, and a slight head start on the recall, as they’d paid off the head inspector to delay her report by promising the ships would be stripped and sold for parts. Instead, the ships were spit-shined, outfitted with some black market YugoPods™, and space aboard quietly sold to very very rich people on the promise that somewhere up there, screamingly wealthy and privileged lives away from the riff raff of Earth were to be had.
To their credit, there was a lot of screaming, so they had that right.
This is the story of one of those ships, the Oz 9, and the utterly futile attempts of its crew to fulfill its stated mission: to deliver the passengers safely to their new, terraformed planet. At its unstated (and unknown) mission – to make Gated Galaxies even richer by doing some sneaky, underhanded and occasionally homicidal things – it was a massive success.
Starring:
Tim Sherburn as Colin/Horace and Senator 1
Eric Perry as Mr. Southers and Joe
Richard Cowen as cheesy ad guy and Leet
Bonnie Brantley as Senator 2
Shannon Perry as Olivia and Madeline
Richard Nadolny as the Narrator and the alarm
Something’s gone pretty wrong on the Oz 9, and Olivia, the ship’s AI, doesn’t seem all that keen to fix it. Meanwhile, Colin’s convinced he was the target (despite being the only one in his section still alive), and the mystery of Leet’s missing shirts is being completely ignored, unlike his pecs.
Will they figure out who cranked up the tanners? Or even how to make lunch?
Starring:
Richard Nadolny as the Narrator,
Tim Sherburn as Colin
Richard Cowen as Leet and interviewer
Eric Perry as Joe and Dr. Friederich von Haber-Zetzer
Bonnie Brantley as Holly Martin Maples
Oz 9 is written and produced by Shannon Perry, who plays Madeline and Olivia.
Have you ever thrown the last of your milkshake out the car window, only to have it splat on the windshield of the car behind you?
Now imagine doing that with liquified human remains, in space, where there are no windshield wipers. Or gas stations with handy squeegee things. What happens next? You might get a really irritated comms call from the next ship in line, who are, incidentally, also about to hit you.
Starring:
Bonnie Brantley as Jessie
Richard Cowen as Leet
Richard Nadolny as The Narrator
Tim Sherburn as Colin
Eric Perry as Joe
Shannon Perry as Madeline and Olivia
Our theme and other incidental music composed and performed by John Faley.
We hope you enjoyed “Oz 9” by Shannon Perry. If you wish to hear more episodes, you can find them on their website, or Patreon. And if these episodes aren’t to you liking, check out our Audio Arts Page at Fictional Cafe. We have a new episode every other week, Friday, 7PM, EST. So don’t change that dial!
